Flynt Report 2009

We’re gonna put America’s hookers in their place, one slap at a time!

flyntreport — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 12:20:24 +0000

You're gonna love my nuts.

Hi, it’s Vince here. You probably know me from such commercials as ShamWow and SlapChop. You may have heard, I recently got arrested on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in my lavish South Beach Setai hotel room. Here’s the real story. I picked up this bitch Sasha at a Miami Beach nightclub. All I told her was to stop having that boring drink, stop having a boring life, and that she would love my nuts if she came home with me. Next thing I know she is blowing me on the couch of my $750 hotel room. I told her she was going to have to purchase a shamwow from me for $19.95 just to clean up the mess on her face. She got angry. She leaped at me, bit my tongue and wouldn’t let go. This was after I gave that bitch a grand after she propositioned me for straight sex. I punched her several times until she released my tongue. Then I took a spare slap chop I had laying around and slapchopped her tits and face while screaming “Linguine, fettucine, martini, bikini!” I took a shamwow and tried to strangle her. She yelled “ShamWOW!!” with an elbow in my face. I ran to the lobby bleeding where they called the cops. That bitch refused to cooperate with the officers, but they were able to recover $930.05 of my money. Even with the absorbent power of the ShamWow it took 3 just to soak up all the blood.

Via thesmokinggun
FLASHBACK Slap Chop Commercial

Very rare photo of the “end” of the rainbow

flyntreport — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 00:58:01 +0000

What happened to me Pot of Gold?

Via Digg

David after the Dentist

flyntreport — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 09:35:40 +0000

No not me. It’s this kid who was all messed up after getting a tooth removed. This video has over 6 million views now. Congratulations kid, you’re now an internet superstar just for visiting the dentist. Let’s see what the tooth fairy offers you now.

Christian Bale takes David to the Dentist

Red Eye Turns Two: “It’s Intentionally Stupid, But Secretly Smart”

flyntreport — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 06:51:32 +0000

“Two years ago today, Red Eye first aired at 2amET on the Fox News Channel. It was, to say the least, a drastic departure from what the FNC audience was used.”

This is truly one of the best shows on TV. Skip Stewart and Colbert, Gutfeld and crew are far more hilarious, smarter… and stupider. When I explain the show to people who haven’t seen it, I often compare it to the Howard Stern Show. Like Stern, it has gained a significant cult-like following with its sexual innuendo, constant drug references, and witty regulars. Its on pretty late, 3amET/ 12amPT, so set your DVRs.

Here are some funny moments from the show.

Greg Gutfeld answers viewer mail.

Anna Gilligan’s Naked Summer Camp

Anna Gilligan’s Naked Summer Camp – Continued

Via TVNewser

Read DailyGut

Lamborghini Gallardo in the Snow

flyntreport — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 06:19:48 +0000

14 x Olympic gold medal winner Michael Phelps applogizes for smoking pot

flyntreport — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 00:49:00 +0000

Olympic great Michael Phelps acknowledged “regrettable” behavior and “bad judgment” after a photo in a British newspaper Sunday showed him inhaling from a marijuana pipe.

In a statement to The Associated Press, the swimmer who won a record eight gold medals at the Beijing Games did not dispute the authenticity of the exclusive picture published Sunday by the tabloid News of the World.

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said in the statement released by one of his agents. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

Via APNews